Hokage Quiz
by kelso the great. ish
Summary: Tsunade has left it up to Sakura to figure out who should be the next Hokage! i'm no good at summeries, sorry. M for strong language.
1. Sakura and a mission

**WOOT! ok so warning to everyone: this is my first EVER fanfic so please be nice...**

**it's only short and i'm not very good writing the characters very well so they may be OOC.**

**i might not update this very often cos i mean i do have AS-Levels to do.**

**disclaimer: i neither own naruto or any of the characters. this is purely a FAN fiction so yeah.**

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Hokage Quiz

"What the hell? Tsunade, you can't be serious!"

The pink haired kunoichi (**A/N**: I promised myself I wouldn't use that sort of phrase… oh well) sat in front of the Godaime's desk dressed in complete ninja spy wear.

She was awoken that morning by an impatient Shizune banging at her apartment's door. After dragging herself out of her nice warm bed, she invited her 'friend' in with a tired smile. Over a cup of green tea, she was informed of an urgent mission briefing that would be immediately followed by the mission itself.

So, like the Sakura many people had grown to love, she prepared herself for almost anything that could come... Almost anything.

As she made herself comfortable in the chair facing the Hokage, expecting a long and complex missing plan, her mentor couldn't help but laugh.

"Why, might I ask, are you dressed for a full-fledged mission to Kiri?" The Blonde found that she just HAD to ask.

"Because… Because… Because Shizune said… leaving straight after… urgent mission… be prepared…"

"You're not Scar, you don't have to be prepared for this. In fact, you're not even leaving the village."

She left the Hokage Tower with a rather Naruto-like confused look consuming her face. Wandering aimlessly around the village with, what felt like, wind blowing in between her ears and tumbleweed slowly forming in her brain. Until, snapping herself out of her comatose state, she found herself on the bridge that Team 7 had often waited on for her lazy-ass form of a sensei and his immensely imaginative and unrealistic excuses. She stopped and stared blankly at the water below as she tried her hardest to think of plan.

After a long and rather unproductive thought process, she finally decided to just throw caution to the wind and go with the flow as she made her way to her first victim's house.

Halfway along her route, consisting of the Konoha rooftops, she paused on top of some random civilian's apartment. Reality had finally caught up with her as she remembered that she was still carrying her well-prepared pack and was still dressed like a ninja-shaped A-Bomb. She turned around and headed in a different direction, figuring it was probably a good idea to go home and get changed first.

While changing into her long-sleeved Jounin top and shorts, a loud, annoying and arrogant squeal came from the other side of her door.

She sighed and went to let her 'best friend' in.

"It's a good thing I'm awake. I would've killed you if I wasn't." She said, while openly the door.

Then, feeling immensely ignored, Ino completely changed the subject to something more important to her.

"FOREHEAD! What the hell took you so long?! I've been shouting for you for HOURS!"

"Don't over-emphasise, Pig, you've only just got here and you know it."

"Woah! What's up with the Bitchy McBitch-Bitch attitude?"

"Nothing really. Just Tsunade being an arse again."

"Well stop it, alright? It'll stretch your forehead"

Ino, apparently amazed at her own geniosity for this last statement, doubled over in laughter as a significantly less impressed Sakura just glared at her until she stopped.

"Hmm… what are you here for anyway?"

A blank look spread suddenly over the Blonde's, now blushing, face and Sakura could've sworn she could hear the somewhat rusty cogs turning in Ino's head.

"Oh yeah! That was it!"

Silence followed the Blonde's epiphany.

"Well…?" Sakura gave her a questioning glare. "Are you going to tell me or what?"

"Oh shit yeah! Sorry," she giggled slightly but stopped as Sakura sighed. "What's left of the rookie nine are meeting up tonight for some drinks and stuff."

"And stuff…?"

"Yeah! And this time you HAVE to come! I'm fed up of you missing our get-togethers. People are gonna start thinking you're dead as well."

Shooting Sakura a glare, she carried on with her generic "get a life outside of soap operas" rant as Sakura finished getting changed while doing her best to ignore her friend's advice.

She was just finishing her outfit by cutting off her annoyingly long sleeves when Ino finally shut up.

"Ok ok! I'll go! But right now I have something to do so shoo."

"GREAT! I'll go tell the guys!"

"Whatever."

"Ok I shall see you at 7 in the usual bar, deal?"

Sakura nodded while putting her hair in a messy ponytail and ushering Ino out of her bedroom.

She watched her friend skip merrily out of her apartment, wondering what she had just gotten herself into. She sighed heavily and made her way out, yet again, to Kakashi's place.

Knocking on the door of the small house at the edge of Konoha, she tried desperately to think about how she'd go about this. That was, of course, until the door opened.

"Saku-ROAR! You are looking mighty feisty today. How may I… help you on this delightful day?" the half-naked Jounin asked, reeking of innuendo while twirling a senbon in his sexy smirk.

_"What is it with the damn references to lions today?!"_ Inner-Sakura shouted.

"Oh, sorry Genma. I forgot you lived here as well," she said as she tried to cover her blush while stopping herself from looking at his tight, black boxers. "You don't happen to know where Kakashi is, do you?"

His smirk changed to an amused grin as he revelled in her innocent discomfort.

"No, sorry, I haven't seen him since he dodged the bill for breakfast this morning… Sneaky twat. If you do find him, tell him I have a senbon with his name on it."

He winked at her, causing her face to glow as she turned away from the door.

She started to walk away while Inner-Sakura tried to figure out why he was in his boxers if he'd already been out that morning.

"Anytime Sakura-chan!" he shouted after her as he moved his gaze towards her ass.

Door still open as he watched, he felt a presence come from behind him as the similarly dressed Copy-nin moved to watch his old student leave.

"Why must she always cut her sleeves off? What did they ever do to her?" he wondered out loud.

"How the hell should I know? You taught her!"

"I blame Tsunade."

"Don't we all…? I'm not complaining though. The more skin showing the better, if you ask me."

"Oi, you little nymphomaniac! That's my student you're oogling!"

"Ex-student," he reminded with a smirk. "Plus, you're staring as well."

"So?"

"So it seems like to have a little fetish for students."

"Whatever. Shall we go out for drinks tonight?"

"Sure!"

The Brunette's usual grin grew wider as he turned to face the man behind him.

"I meant what I said about the senbon, you know."

"I wouldn't expect anything different from you, Gen-kun." He replied winking cheekily, even if it did look like he was merely closing his eyes for a bit (due to the hitai-ate covering his sharingan).

They turned back to stare out the door for a while watching the kunoichi's ass sway gently as she wandered away from them. Until, finally, she jumped onto a nearby roof and out of their line of view so they decided to close the door and get back to the laundry.

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**TOLD YOU IT WAS SHORT! but yeah, thanks for reading! **

**and thoughts and ideas anyone may have are welcome cos i have noooooo idea where the story is actually gonna go. heh heh**


	2. failing missions

**WOOT! ok i know this like took aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages to be uploaded but i really do blame college. so not only do i apologise for the delay but i also apologise for the shortness of it... i swear it was longer when i wrote it.**

**the third chapter is written. i just need to type it up... so yeah, do you guys want it up asap? or do you want me to wait for a bit?**

**ok so this is a long A/N i know but i wanted to ask you guys what pairing you think i should do. i was planning on doing like a huge mix but i don't know the specifics. if you guys request a pairing i don't like, i'll tell you not to expect it cos i really do have objections to things like shikaino and narusaku... but yeah... **

**on with the chapter**

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Hokage Quiz - Chapter 2

"Oh great!" Sakura thought while, once again, wandering over Konoha's rooftops. "I've only been on the mission for an hour and I'm already failing!"

"_Great going, Saku-roar!"_ Inner-Sakura mocked while both girls laughed manically.

She stopped giggling for just enough time to decide to go after an easier target.

Naruto.

Not only would he be piss easy to find but she may even be able to get some lunch out of it.

So, once again in need of a dramatic change in direction, she made her way towards Ichiraku.

After 3 minutes and about 36 dead spiders, that she had accidentally stood on and would undoubtedly be shot for later by Shino, she stepped under the flaps of the Ramen provider. But then, she suddenly wished she hadn't as she very nearly passed out at the sight that lay before her.

There she was, stood in Ichiraku Ramen, looking at the stools before her. Or more precisely, the EMPTY stools before her…

Naruto was NOT there!

THE Naruto Uzumaki, king of Ramen, was NOT spending his free time eating Ramen.

Sakura didn't know what to do… She had absolutely no idea where else he would be.

Now that Jiraiya was gone, he never trained during daylight hours so he wouldn't be at the training fields… He wouldn't be at the memorial… not after the village council refused to put his dearest 'darling' Sasuke on it. It was past midday so he wouldn't still be in bed and if he was injured he would be yelling at the hospital staff to get her to fix him…

She was lost.

But she still had to get ready for the get-together that night so she HAD to get a move on and at least find SOMEONE.

"So," she thought over a bowl of Ramen. "Where now?"

After an intense meeting with her Inner-self, they finally made a decision. So after paying, she moved off her stool and back on to the rooftops. She was on her way to the compound close to the academy (**A/N: **I don't actually know if it's there but I'm the one writing this story so I say it is).

Cautiously, so as not to accidentally disrespect any of the residents, Sakura passed through the gates and beyond the kennels on the search for the main house.

She stood outside the building and knocked firmly on the door. There was no way she could get away with showing weakness here, especially if the head of the family were to answer the door.

It opened to reveal the generic messy, brown hair that framed a slightly round face. Upside-down red triangles were emphasised by the tanned face shown before her. She had spent the entire night with this person the other day so she immediately felt relieved that they had been the one to open the door.

"Hey Pink."

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**ok so yeah. reviews are always nice. i hug people that review me... **

**and just remember, the pairings are up to you guys so if you don't ask they won't happen... SO YEAH ASK FOR PAIRINGS AND YOU MAY GET!!**

**next chapter will be longer... i think... well it seemed longer when i was writing it... heh heh ;**


	3. shouting curses

**OK I'm like really bad at keeping things to myself... i was going to make you all wait for this but yeah... I'm too bored.**

**this chapter is kinda short again but I'm sure you don't mind...**

**can i ask a favor? can peeps review? seriously though, i review saying "good", "bad" or even "you suck" is like sooooo much better than no review at all... so please review... **

**flames are welcomed!! i enjoy abuse! at least then i know people are reading**

**and you'll never guess what! i found the piece of paper that said i own naruto the other day!! but then i gave it back to kishi cos i figured he may need it... heh heh**

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"Hey Pink."

A blush formed slightly at the nickname the fine specimen of Shinobi had given her over the past few years.

"Hey Hana."

She was invited in and sat in the living room as Hana passed her a cup of Green Tea that she had started to brew when she heard the door knock.

"You look like you need it." She explained while Sakura sipped at the hot beverage before she started talking.

"You don't happen to know where Kiba is, do you?" she asked as she took another well-needed sip.

"Kiba?! What is it with people looking for that little twerp today?! I mean, BLOODY HELL! He's never had this many people come for him before! WHY DON'T PEOPLE WANT TO SEE ME ANYMORE?!" She growled slightly causing Sakura to lean away.

"_Now you've done it!"_Inner-Sakura yelled as she too tried to inconspicuously move away.

"First Ino then Naruto, then Shika, quickly followed by Shino…" she continued listing a load of unknown names, presumably Inuzukas. "HELL even Shizune!"

"What? Shizune?" Sakura interrupted before she fully took in the first name. "HOLD IT! Ino came? What was Ino doing looking for Kiba?"

"God knows! But I can tell you that it was Ino's fault that Naruto, Shikamaru and Shino came around. Something about finding refuge."

Hana seemed to calm again as her own cup of Green Tea was slowly sipped away. Unlike Sakura, who only found herself more distraught after finding out this latest piece of information.

"So, why was Shizune here?" she didn't know why she asked… maybe she really had become a masochist.

"Ummm I think it was something to do with one of Tsunade's 'brilliant plans'." She let the information sink in and watched as Hana put her 'reminiscing face' on.

"_Oh God! What the hell did Shishou do now?" _Inner-Sakura wondered.

"I remember it made me nearly piss myself with laughter." A state of panic was working its way into Sakura's mind. "I remember thinking 'my god, Tsunade, maybe you are a genius afterall'. Does that help?"

Inner-Sakura cursed enough for both of them.

"It's a shame really…" a genuine waft of sadness swept over Hana's features. "I can't for the life of me remember why it was so great."

Hana stood up, laughing to herself, and scratched at a non-existent itchy patch on the back of her head. Both Kunoichis' Green Tea had long since run out.

Sakura tried to calm her nerves as she left the Inuzuka compound.

"_Another failure for you."_

"Yeah, and yet another heap of stress. What the hell could those Blonds be thinking?"

"_Do you really want to know?"_

She couldn't be bothered to jump over the rooftops anymore. The day had worn her out, mentally and physically, to a point where she had to walk through the markets and try to fight through the endless crowds of bargain-hunting civilians.

She headed towards the hill by the training grounds, although, she wasn't exactly sure if her latest victim would be there if Ino was on the prowl. But hey, it was worth a try… right?

Wrong.

The grassy mound was empty leaving Sakura to slump to the floor, completely defeated.

"_Do you think they're working together?"_Inner-Sakura asked while munching on an Inner-Doughnut.

"Knowing them, I'd be an idiot if I thought against it."

She sat pondering to herself on the hill. The sky was starting to change colours as the sun started to run away. She knew she needed to get rid of this frustration before she even attempted to socialize so she did the one thing she knew would always work….

"CUUUUUUUUNT!"

With that one simple shouted word she immediately felt herself relax. In fact, she was so relaxed that she hardly noticed the senbon that landed in the ground by her left hand.

"You know," the young man laughed. "I come here because it's quiet. You've probably just ruined it for me now."

Just looking at his lazy face and stupidly-placed/shaped ponytail would usually piss her off immensely but today was not an ordinary day. So, instead of moaning, she settled for a high speed glomp aimed at Shikamaru's legs.

"Oh thank god you're here!" she yelled, causing him to grimace. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be hiding from Ino? Surely a genius like you would know she'd expect you to be here."

"Not really, it's already six o'clock. She'll be getting ready for the party by now."

"OH SHIT! I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT!" she took in a deep breath before carrying on with her panic. "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! I HAVE TO GO! OH GOD! WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!"

She ran off at full speed continuing shouting at herself while leaving the amused Shinobi in the tree staring after the girl.

After she had finally moved out of his line of vision, he moved his gaze towards the red clouds sighing out his well-known phrase.

"Troublesome woman…"

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**pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease review... remember, one word/syllable is more than enough to satisfy me...**


	4. Bubble Theory

**MY GOD! it's been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages since i updated this story... oh well i'm sure the three people reading it out there won't mind... heh heh... it's actually kinda upsetting just how few people read this thing... i may have to put it on my deviantart site and see if i get more of a response on there... i doubt i will but you never know...**

**alas this is a filler chapter so i don't mind if you just wanna skip it but i warn you: EXAMS AND LONDON EXPO ARE THE ONLY THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND ATM SO I WON'T BE WRITING FANFICTION!! so yeah i have nooooo idea when i'll next update.. sorry**

**anywhoooooooo i checked on my calender the other day and i found that it's going to be a while before i own Naruto... oh well... sits and waits**

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Luckily for us, there are four types of people in the world. Many theories out there can tell you this but the simplest one is the Bubble Theory. It sounds silly and childish but I'm sure you'll all agree once it's been explained.

You see, the Bubble Theory is based on how people react around – yes, you've guessed it – BUBBLES. There are four categories of personalities that come out of it.

First, you get the people that blow the bubbles – the "bubble blowers" if you will. These people enjoy creating situations in which other people can have fun. Ino is very much this type of person, always arranging meet-ups and parties. Even on missions, she's the one that makes the random comment that will later be one of those in-jokes.

But where there's creation, there's always destruction. Destruction can split into two types though. It is these types that create the second and third personality type as stated by the Bubble Theory.

The "bubble poppers" are the type of people that use their competitive nature to make fun. Their ambitions are huge and their egos are usually just as big. Hopefully, you're all reminded of Naruto and Gai. Naruto, of course, being the one to try and race to Suna as an attempt to prove his ability to be Hokage while Gai is the creator of the **1000 LAPS OF DOOM**.

The second destruction type is the "moaners". These are usually the too-sensitive/dull-for-their-own-good types of people. They sit and criticize others while they enjoy destroying the smiles of their comrades. Neji and Sasu-gay are our examples for this one. But alas, in this fanfiction, both of these miserable bar-stewards are dead. (No need to thank me)

That of course only adds up to three though. Our forth and final type of person is the more sensitive and quiet type. The person that sits on the grass smiling as they watch the blowers, moaners and poppers have their fun. They are perfectly content with just blending into the background and watching the world pass by.

Our Sakura is the perfect specimen for this group. In missions she just does her job, nothing more and nothing less. Never the shining star in her team even after training with the Hokage herself, she's just there. And although she may be the most important person in the team – thanks to her medic abilities – she never chooses to show off or over-exert herself in order to prove she's good enough. No, she gave up trying to prove herself a while ago. When in social situations she is never one to start conversations but she is perfectly willing to contribute to ones her friends have started.

This is exactly the reason why, when Sakura got home exhausted from sprinting all the way, she found the door unlocked and the light switched on in the living room.

Not wanting to take any chances – although she did have ideas of who could be there – she walked cautiously through her living room, passed her kitchen and eating area while she made her way to the bedroom.

The gap around the door showed her that the light inside was on. As she slowly opened the door her suspicions were confirmed, although she didn't expect such extreme precautions to be taken.

"Sorry Sakura" was the last thing she heard before she saw her friend make her move. Chouji was stood catching the limp form of Ino's body with an extremely guilty look on his face.

"_At least now we know why he apologised."_ Inner-Sakura commented while standing next to the, usually, Outer-Sakura.

Like her, Chouji was not usually the sort of person that got involved in Ino's plans. He only ever did so when Shikamaru was nowhere to be found. And even then it took an awful lot of persuasion and blackmail before he gave in.

He lay Ino's body down on the bed and left for the living room as Ino's mind transfer started to take full effect on Sakura. But Sakura saw no point in trying to resist. It would only cause her more trouble if she did. So instead she just sat back and watched as Ino moved her over to the wardrobe.

A small black dress was pulled from its hanger. It was one of those dresses that you only buy so you can wear a top underneath it. But Ino obviously had no intention of retaining Sakura's modesty. No, instead she made her way over to a bag that was with Ino's body.

"_Ino bought you underwear? This can only end badly"_ Inner-Sakura mused. When suddenly Ino's voice popped into the thought process (sounding an awful lot like Sakura's mostly due to her using Sakura's voice box).

"I wouldn't have to buy you underwear if you were a little bit more willing to wear black lace…"

"_**You wouldn't…"**_ Outer-but-temporarily-Inner-Sakura stated nervously.

"I would," and as if to prove her point she pulled a black lacy bra from the bag along with a matching pair of knickers. "It could've been worse… I was going to get you a thong. Admittedly then I thought of you completely embarrassing yourself all night by pulling at it so I thought better of it."

Sakura just sighed as she watched her Jounin outfit and sensible underwear be swapped for something a whole lot less appropriate for something as simple as a Rookie Nine meet-up.

Relief erupted from her as she regained control over her body. But it was short-lived as she made a move to remove the outfit only to see Ino make some more hand signs. The dress glowed slightly with something that looked remarkably like chakra but promptly returned to normal. She looked questionably at Ino forcing her to start explaining before she got hit.

"It's a seal Tsunade taught me. It'll keep that outfit attached to you for an hour or so. Just enough time for us to get there, guys to start falling for you and for you to realise it was a great idea after all. Fun, ne?"

Ino just smirked as Sakura sighed; feeling completely defeated, and was dragged away along with Chouji towards the bar in the middle of Konoha.

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**Told you it was a filler... but yeah... PLEASE REVIEW!! OR AT THE VERY LEAST TELL ONE OTHER PERSON ABOUT THIS STORY... sighs i know it's never gonna happen but i'm supposed to be optimistic...**


	5. The night before

**I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! there's quite a lot of speech in this one so i'm sorry if you have to keep going down to read it but i blame for making the 'enter' button make HUGE gaps... sorry... this chapter is seriously lacking in plot but to be fair the jokes are kinda piled in... sorry for any spelling mistakes and grammer screw-ups... i just couldn't be arsed to edit it and i don't have a beta...**

**i don't own naruto or any of the abused characters in this fanfic... WARNING: THE LANGUAGE IN THIS CHAPTER IS VERY BAD! my mother would be ashamed if i spoke like these nins do... hehe... oh the irony**

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Chapter Four

The night before

An early table was waiting for the group when they arrived. Ino had booked it and had already decked it out with bottles of Sake (A.N: I know Sake doesn't come in bottles but I don't care!). Her and Chouji moved to the end of the table with the bottles and glasses labelled "Team 10". While Sakura sat next to Ino pouring her first lot of Sake into her "Team 7" glass.

The door burst open as Kiba and Naruto, obviously recovering from some sort of race, stumbled through and into their seats.

"WOOT-ttebayo! I finally beat Kiba!"

"Piss off did you! I had to fucking open the door for you!"

"Nuh-uh-ttebayo"

"Yuh-huh"

"Nuh-uh-ttebayo"

"Yuh-huh"

"Nuh…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOTIC PIECES OF SHIT!"

The two canine-boys turned wearily towards the pink-haired explosive standing on her chair panting after her outburst.

"Uh… Forehead? I love you to bits and pieces but maybe you should keep off the Sake tonight" Ino said while coaxing Sakura into sitting down.

Naturally the ickle orange brain cell inside Naruto's mind was confused so he just sat down next to his old team-mate trying not to do anything that may provoke another Haruno-styled swearing fit.

Meanwhile in Kiba-land:

"So, our little Pinky starts to swear like there's no tomorrow when she's tipsy?"

"What the fuck did you just call me?! You bastard of a cunting twatbag piece of bitch-meat!"

The red-triangled slab of hotness was intrigued so, naturally, he did what any other intrigued guy would do….. He sat in Shikamaru's designated seat and started an attempt at flirting with Sakura.

"You know, if I would've known that this was how Little Miss Pinky would react when drunk I totally would've attached an IV drip of vodka to you loooooong before I started ignoring you."

"What the fuck!? You little son of a bitch! You call _that_ a fucking compliment?! I'll kick your fucking ass if you ever…"

"Must you constantly taunt the drunkards, Kiba?"

"SHINO!"

_**ArTiSaBaNg…Un ArTiSaBaNg…Un ArTiSaBaNg…Un**_

The bar was filling up and soon the Rookie Nine's table was complete. Well, as complete as it can be when two of said 'nine' were dead.

Sasuke of course died when Itachi and Deidara got Hidan to slice him up and sacrifice him to the god of chaos, Jashin. Who would've thought that the Akatsuki were actually masters in faking their own deaths? (A.N: I refuse to admit to myself that our darling bishies are 'dead'). While Neji killed Hinata, in order to become clan leader, but was soon after crushed to death by a pissed off Shino. Sure they were considered tragic deaths by some but that's the problem with men. They always want power.

And now there sat a group of seven Nins around a table set for nine. But nothing could stop the group from enjoying their night together. After all, it could very well be their last. So instead they talked, flirted, drank and, in some cases, fell off their chairs.

And then came the ramen-eating contest. Naturally, this only really included Naruto and Chouji but it did manage to remind Sakura of the task that Tsunade bestowed on her. So, after waiting for Naruto to finish his "Oh yeah future Hokage, Taichou of ramen" song, Sakura proceeded to allow the remains of Sake in her system lead the conversation.

"Holy shit! I've just remembered something!"

"Holy shit! Really?! Oo-oo-oo! Tell the oh so wondrous ramen guru!"

"Naruto?"

"Yes Ino?"

"Shut up"

"But, but, but!"

"No buts!"

"AH HA HA HA! DID YA HEAR THAT SHINO?! THEY SAID BUTT!"

"Yes Kiba, that they did."

"GUYS! Oh and pig. I WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING!"

"Then say it"

"Oh thank you Shika for that excellent piece of advice!"

Choosing to ignore the shadow user's mutterings of "mendokuse", Sakura continued.

"I was trying to be annoyed at everyone because I've been trying to look for you guys all day and suddenly everyone is here! I don't know why I bother sometimes…"

"Aww Pinky! If ya wanted me that badly you could've just said."

"Shut up Kiba! That's my team-mate you're talking to."

"Naruto, I can take care of myself… but anyway, can you guys write down where you'll be tomorrow. I really need to talk to you."

"Oh I have a notebook and pen in my bra that you can use."

"Thanks pig… but why do you keep them in your _bra_?"

"Simple. Bags can be stolen; bras can only be stolen after a night of passion. So I'll at least get something out of it."

Before Sakura could say anything more on the subject, a large lump of green confidence made its way over to the table and proceeded to sit down in one of the empty chairs. Naturally, Tenten was forced to follow it to the table, hoping to Kami that they wouldn't have to stay for long.

Her prayers were heard and her saviour came in the form of Kiba.

"Oi! Lee! You're not part of the Rookie Nine! Fuck off!"

"THANK YOU!" Tenten shouted while dragging the taijustu-specialising monstrosity away from the seven rather confused looking Jounins.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world in the country of Writers Block:

"SHIT! I'VE GOT A FUCKING PAPERCUT! BLOODY HEATHENS! YOU DARE HARM JASHIN'S DEVOTEE!"

Hearing the threats flowing through the hideout's corridors, Pein, Konan, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori and Kakuzu all made their way to the source of the noise. (Kisame and Tobi were both killed when the rest of the Akatsuki found out they'd betrayed them)

The organisation of S-class criminals searched for the immortal megaphone and managed to find him in Konan's room, of all places.

"Hidan?" Deidara asked nervously. Scared of whether or not it really was Hidan before him.

There he was stood in the middle of the room wearing a long, brown, leather skirt and what looked to be a bright blue origami bra.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING BRA?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING SKIRT?!"

Konan and Kakuzu asked/shouted at the same time.

_**ArTiSaBaNg…Un ArTiSaBaNg…Un ArTiSaBaNg…Un**_

The night was coming to an end so the Rookie Nine left the bar and headed to the ice-cream stall in order to give them enough energy to make it home.

Due to the extremely large amount of alcohol Ino had managed to store in her tiny body, when Shikamaru turned round claiming he had an appointment with a cloud in the morning meaning he would have to leave now, Ino promptly shoved the entire of her ice-cream cone in her mouth before shouting

"NOOOOOO!! CLOUD IS LEON'S!! NOT EVEN KADAJ COULD BRAKE THAT BOND!!"

Before the brain-freeze could get to her, she managed to perform a Shitenshyin No Jutsu (mind transfer) causing her to attack Chouji's mind in order to avoid having to feel the pain in her body, which Shino was unfortunate enough to have to catch.

When Ino finally thought it was safe to return to her body, the group decided it was probably a good time to head home. So the group split up, heading to their various homes around Konoha.

Sakura slowly strolled home, trying her best to walk in a straight line due to the traces of alcohol left in her system. She was so busy watching what her feet were doing that she hardly noticed the cloaked figure walking alongside her. That was, until she tripped over an invisible stone yet somehow managed to float for a bit before getting back on her feet.

"It's a very bad idea to get drunk when you're a Jounin. You won't be able to perform any missions tomorrow and you're work at the hospital will be sloppy."

Sai finally unwrapped his arms from around her waist, as he allowed her to stand on her own, while flashing a fake smile.

"He's right, you know." Kakashi commented while stepping out of the nearby bar, Genma in tow.

"But you guys have to admit the drunken blush matching her hair mixed with that dress _is_ one of the hottest things in the world."

Sai and Kakashi seemed to contemplate Genma's observation for a second, leaving Sakura to huff loudly and stomp off back home but not before shouting over her shoulder

"I have to talk to you perverts tomorrow so you'd better not run away again!"

One turn around a conveniently placed corner and she was gone.

Now all she wanted was to get home and out of this dress before crawling into her bed… but, naturally, Kiba had other plans.

There he was; sat on the step by her door looking embarrassed and slightly depressed.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Come now, Sakura. It's not my fault Hana decided to lock the gates to the compound and not let me in."

"And what the hell is wrong with Shikamaru's house?"

"Ah…about that… Shika decided to camp out by Neji's grave…"

"And Shino?"

"Oh his dad's bugs get aggravated by dogs… or the smell of them in my case."

At this point, Sakura really did just want to get some sleep. So she did what she had to in order to get it.

"Urgh, fine! You can have the sofa but you'd better be quiet about it cos I'm going to sleep."

With that, she opened the door and went straight to bed while Kiba locked up the house before falling asleep on the sofa.

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**Reviews are appreciated... in fact, they're encouraged... i apologise again for how long it took to write this... but i imagine it'll take even longer to do the next chapter... sorry**


	6. The morning after

**OH DEAR JASHIN IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG! i'm sorry... it's been a while i know... i also know that'll probably be quite a while before the next chapter comes out...**

**Warning: this is a very short chapter... but i had to cut it off where i did... it just seemed to fit... i will try to write a longer one next time...**

**Disclaimer: if i did own naruto i would've gotten somewhere with the plot, kept the entire of the Akatsuki alive and Sasuke would be hanging by his toes from a giant jashin symbol with his foreskin cut off and stretched over his idiotic hair style... In other words: i don't own Naruto**Chapter Six

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The Morning After

Pain. Unbearable pain. Unbearable pain and a cushion sticking into his back.

Naturally, those were the only things that Kiba could think about as he woke up the morning after. So he threw the cushion over to the other side of the room.

"Why the bloody hell did I decide to sleep on the sofa?" he asked lazily while eying the surrounding living room. "And why the bloody hell did I redecorate?"

Suddenly his enhanced hearing kicked in as he heard the shower running down the hall. So, just in case, he checked… and sure enough there was no sign of any morning wood so he must've either had an argument or a fantastic shag…

'_Oh well… Off to damage control_' he thought as he made his way towards the bathroom. He gently tapped his knuckles the door and said, in the loudest voice his hangover would allow, "Hey, um, I just wanted to say sorry for whatever happened last night. I honestly can't remem…"

His voice was cut off as the door was abruptly opened to reveal a very wet, very naked and, most importantly, a very angry Sakura.

"You had better not be insinuating that you think you slept with me, you arrogant little bar-steward!"

It was at this point she realised she'd forgotten to put a towel on before starting on her angry rant. It was also at this point that she realised Kiba wasn't looking at her face.

"ARGH YOU IDIOT!!!" she shouted at she slammed the door in his face and got back to her morning shower. "And if you DARE leave this apartment, before I tell you you can, I will personally make sure that all your missions for the rest of your pathetic existence will be making sure Tsunade's sake is taken away!"

Luckily for Kiba, his survival instincts kicked in before his cock could so he went back to the living room to sit on the sofa until Sakura was finished. Unluckily for Kiba, he noticed a scroll on her coffee table.

"Hmm doesn't have a rank stamp… and she did leave it out in the open…"

All previously specified survival instincts deserted the Inuzuka heir as he opened the metaphorically glowing scroll and skimmed the contents. Halfway through, the meaning of the words before his eyes dawned on him…

"So when she said she wanted to talk to us… She wants to discuss… Oh my god… I HAVE TO TELL THE GUYS!!!"

He quickly rolled up the scroll and put it back where he found it. He was just about to get up and leave when Sakura, fully dressed now, came out the bathroom and sat next to him on the sofa. She looked him in the eye and calmly held his hand.

"I'm sorry. I just… It just annoyed me to know you think I would sleep with you… I mean, I just can't understand why you think I'd do that…"

His expression resembled that of a puppy who had just been caught peeing in it's owner's favourite pair of slippers as he explained.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. I honestly didn't realise this was your place. I'm not really used to waking up on random sofas after a night out drinking."

The shook was evident by the way her eyes widened and a pink flush quickly covered her cheeks.

"Oh! Oh alright then… That makes so much more sense… I know! I'll make breakfast then we can forget any of this ever happened, ne?"

So she made her way to the kitchen to make pancakes for them both. 10 minutes later Kiba was sat at her kitchen table attempting to swallow the blackened remains of batter without puking.

'_Note to self: NEVER let Sakura apologise through food again._' Kiba thought as he made his way through the streets of Konoha to find the rest of the guys before Sakura finishes her rounds at the hospital.

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**thankies for reading, reviews are appreciated....**

**goodbye till next time**


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